If you look at my patreon earnings per page it looks pretty nice right? But if you think about it it’s actually insane.
I can’t update AHS a lot and I’m pretty sure the majority of readers abandon my comic because of it… but despite this, I still got a good number of patrons.
Now imagine how many patrons I’d have if I wasn’t a complete wreck?
This should be motivating as hell right? I could make this my job!!!
In reality it turned out the be the carrot on a stick dangling in front of my face that I will never reach. Hope is cruel.
Next year is the date I wanted to have finished AHS and moved on to the next project, instead I’m not even 1/8th of the way there. And given my ever deteriorating health, I will never get there.
So, I won’t be able to finish AHS and I’ll take all the other ideas I had to my grave? What’s even the point in going on?
Someone suggested writing instead of doing a comic. No fuck that. I’m a visual person and I can’t write to save my life. There’s webcomics I stopped following because they switched to mostly text. It’d be kinda hypocritical for me to do the same. Something like a visual novel mayyybe, but I’d rather make something like a turn based rpg, but who knows how long something like that would take me…
Some suggest working with another artist. I did actually try that once, but it ended in tears. I’m not cut out for working with people honestly. The subject matter of my stuff is another thing, people might work with me now, but they don’t know what the story has in store… And then there’s a matter of payment, If i worked with someone I’d want the art to be on par with mine and of course I’d pay for that. But my financial situation is so dire, I don’t even have money for the last week of each month.
So, if I only have one comic in me (if that), do I really want it to be AHS, a comic I have many regrets about? If so, do I completely remake chapter 1 and some of chapter 2 in order to try and make it work? Or If I’m remaking chapter 1 anyway, change the whole thing to take it in a direction I’m more interested in? Or just make something entirely different? But what’s the point if I don’t finish that either?
Maybe I should make a lewd image patreon for the time being.
I don’t know… these are just the ramblings of someone trying to cling to a life that’s probably over at this point.