God damn.

Earlier I wrote about my health issues and the fact that at least some of them are probably caused by bad posture due to crappy setup, or at least they are exacerbated by it. In response a few readers have donated money, to help me afford something that might make for a more ergonomic setup. I mentioned looking at the Yiynova MVP22U as one possibility.

One reader in particular (who wishes to remain anonymous) dropped quite the bomb on me, which means I’m now well on my way to being able to afford it! That actually made me cry a little… I didn’t even ask for donations! You guys are great ;_;

If any of you want to donate, you can, but please be aware that even if I am able to afford a super ergonomic setup right now, I still won’t be able to draw right away because of my health. Still need some time to recover. My recent visit to a doctor was completely fruitless by the way…

So, now that I am well on my way to afford something nice, it might be a good idea to step back and explore my options a little. The MVP22 is nice, but apparently Yiynova will release three new models really soon. It might be a good idea to hold on to the money until then.

It also might be an idea to investigate some tablet-pcs like the Surface Pro or the Cintiq Companion etc. I recently un-retired my old EP121 and drew a thing with it.

Here, have a sporty watercolor Mina!

The thing I really like about tablet-pcs is the ability to move them anywhere. They’re not tied to a desktop because there’s a computer in there, but that’s also one of the drawbacks. The only reason I retired my EP121 in the first place is because it’s getting old. It only has 4gb ram and can’t be upgraded beyond that. I need at least 8gb now that I work in color. Newer tablet-pcs are roughly twice as powerful as the EP121 and should be able to handle my workload without problems.

I’ll compile a list of options I’m considering soon. I did a lot of research into Cintiqs and their alternatives in the past few months and hopefully it might benefit others as well.

6 comments

Therapy Session 1

I wrote a bit about my depression and other medical issues before, but I don’t think I’ve ever felt as bad as I do now. It’s gotten to the point where I feel like I’ll never be able to lead a happy life, that everything I’m doing is futile.

The only positive thing about my life is the comics I’m drawing and that’s it. But… those comics aren’t doing so well either, my inability to update them reliably is really taking it’s toll on me.

I started AHS to get some practice with comics, be done with it in a few years and move on to the next project. So much for that pipe-dream, because now I feel like I wont even finish AHS in my lifetime, let alone the other comics I wanted to do. I can’t just ignore this anymore like I could a few years ago, when I didn’t have as much to worry about. It fucking kills me that after all this time I’m still not at any of the remotely exciting parts of AHS. The pacing of my comics totally werks guise.

So, in order to try and preserve the only good thing I have left in this miserable existence, I’m going to take a step back for a while and take a hiatus from the comic to re-examine things.
(Kinda shooting myself in the foot a bit because no more Patreon funds during the hiatus, but I feel it’s necessary.)

I’ll need to focus not just on improving my art, but on working more quickly. If the pain in my arm is here to stay, I’ll have to find a way to be more efficient with it at least.

And while I’m practicing, maybe draw a few things I’ve always wanted to, to hopefully cheer me up a bit. Like this one:

Session 1: Some demons I guess?

Demons consume humans and absorb their life force. They also have a complete disregard for human life and are incredibly cruel, never trust them! Though they don’t normally have sentient tails.
I want so badly to be at the point in the story where these guys start appearing, but you know…

So, did this feel good drawing make me feel better? Did this “therapy session” work out?

I came down with the flu while drawing it, so no.
Good night.

15 comments

Not doing too well.

I don’t really want to post about stuff like this, but I think you guys should know.

I’m not feeling very good right now, neither physically nor mentally. One thing might be related to the other, healthy body, healthy mind and all that.
I just don’t have any energy. Sitting in front of an empty canvas and I can’t even bring myself to pick up a pen.

Depression sucks, especially if you try to ignore it your whole life. A big reason for this: depression and anxiety make you reluctant to talk about it. Hell, even writing this post is hard, it’s not a lot of words but it took days.
It’s called the invisible disease for a reason, and if you don’t let people know, nobody’s going to help you. It took me a long time to learn this.

Basically, I’ve tried to completely ignore everything and just focused on making the comic.
“I’ll never be happy, but maybe this comic will brighten other people’s days.”
Not a healthy outlook on life.

Sorry for taking another break from the AHS, but I’ll need a while to sort a few things out. Hopefully I’ll be feeling better in a week or two.

25 comments

Drawing is no fun like this.

Most of you probably already know that I’m having problems with my wrist.
It almost feels like my arm is slowly turning into a gnarled piece of wood.

Carpal Tunnel Syndrome + Tendinitis = Ow.

Here’s what I’ve been doing so far:

I slowed down my comic making in order to let my wrist recover.
I didn’t work on IFF at all, because that comic makes my hand curl up into a ball of pain just from thinking about it. :c
I got a wrist brace.
I’m taking some Vitamin Bs as a helpful reader suggested.
I try using my left hand for more menial tasks.

All of this helped somewhat, but it seems that as soon as I do anything, the pain returns.

A few weeks ago I started exercising again, did some weightlifting and the pain was back in full force.
I didn’t even use heavy weights or anything, so why is this happening?

Turns out I have a thing called Hypermobility.
Hyper flexible joints can have different causes, but one of them is “A Type 1 collagen or other connective tissue defect”.
In other words: My ligaments, muscles, tendons etc. are softer than normal and thus more prone to damage.
This means heavy physical activity is bad, but so are lot’s of small repetitive motions… You know… like drawing.
I’m not going to stop drawing though! I’d rather kill myself.

I really haven’t been doing well recently, because it’s getting more and more clear to me that this probably isn’t something that’s going to get better. I’ll just have to learn to deal with it somehow.

Thinking about things:

Taking a real break.
I’ve been taking breaks on and off for some time now, but even when I am not drawing comics, I couldn’t really avoid using my hand for other work.
Gotta avoid using that hand somehow, if I take another break.
A more ergonomic workspace.
You can see my current workspace here.
Being hunched over that tablet all the time is probably not the best for me.
I’m still debating on saving up for a Cintiq or something similar, but cheaper. However, a part of me feels like I might not like it because it could actually be too big for my taste.
Be less of a perfectionist.
The thing with digital art is that it makes it possible to be a perfectionist.
Unlimited undos, erasing doesn’t damage your paper, ability to zoom in, etc. I’ve spent much longer on each individual page since I switched to digital.
Being a perfectionist seems like a bad idea if you’re not perfect. I wouldn’t even consider myself a good artist, but spending hours just refining stuff masks some of my shortcomings at the expense of my wrist.
I might have to lower my standards a bit to a more realistic level, especially considering my condition. I do want to finish this comic, as well as some others, within my lifetime. 😐

That’s all I can think of right now, if you have any suggestions, leave a comment.

12 comments

Alien Hand Syndrome

This comic may not contain any actual aliens.

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